My Sweet Unvalentine
by meeka-eela
Summary: "Well then what do you want from me? I'm sorry for having a crush on you, I get that that makes things weird and – Seifer, your face is really close." Seiner one-shot for Daniel Jasper.


My Sweet Unvalentine

* * *

**One-shot written for my amazingly amazing editor and close friend, Daniel Jasper. He asked for a Seiner piece written to the song 'My Sweet Unvalentine' by New Year's Day. Yeah, I can't do song fics evidently, so I just threw some of the lyrics in there. Sorry...**

**Also, this story has nothing to do with Valentine's day.**

**Oh, and by the way. I LIED. There's no way that I wouldn't have completed this in time for your birthday. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own, 'kay?**

* * *

_You leave me like an addict, always wanting more,_

_But when I break free the sirens sound and call me back to shore_

_10/12_

* * *

"My dad says your parents got a divorce 'cause your mom's a slut."

Ten year old Hayner had come to accept the fact that his dad was gone.

He had come to accept the fact that his dad had packed up his bags and left them so that he could start a new life with his new girlfriend called Marissa.

And without Hayner.

Hayner had cried, and he had thrown tantrums, but he was over it. He had stopped trying to blame himself and his mother for the divorce and had just come to accept the fact that his dad was a 'cheating, irresponsible bastard' and he had accepted the fact that Frank, his mom's best friend, was now living with them.

Hayner found it easier to get along in life if he just stopped questioning everything.

And, so, statements like the one that this stupid kid had just made shouldn't have bothered him at all.

(Sticks and stones and such)

But he was not having the best of days.

His dinosaur alarm clock, which his dad had given to him when he had turned five, broke that morning and made him late for school. He didn't even have time to mourn properly over its death.

And then some stupid blonde kid answered the Math question in class before he could, so he didn't get the cherry lollipop prize that the teacher had offered, and Hayner really liked cherry lollipops.

And now this loser was calling his mom a slut.

"Shut it, asshole."

A gasp ran though the crowd at the mention of a swear word.

The bully, a kid from a higher grade who obviously needed a more productive way to pass his time, sneered.

"Think you're cool 'cause you can use a bad word? I'll beat the shit out of you, runt."

Hayner felt a spike of fear stab though his chest at the bully's words. He knew that he should have run away and found a teacher but he was just so tired of being made into the universe's doormat.

"I'd like to see yah try!" Hayner screamed in retaliation, bunching his fists at his sides and taking a few steps closer to the bully.

He didn't even know how the hell he got into his current situation. The last thing he remembered was the bully picking on the stupid blonde kid that stole his lollipop prize, just because the kid liked to play pretend and imagine that he was fighting giant monsters with a Keyblade or something. And for some reason, Hayner felt that he needed to play hero.

So now he was going to get the shit beat out of him while the kid watched from the sidelines.

At least Blondie had the decency to look guilty.

"Hey, loser, did your own grade kick you off of your field or do you just like playing with little boys?"

Hayner's head snapped up at the sound of the new voice and he almost cheered when he saw the infamous beanie clad head of the school's self appointed leader of the disciplinary committee. Seifer and his cronies, Raijin and Fuujin, patrolled the school grounds looking out for anything or anyone that was about to cause trouble. The younger grades admired him and the older grades thought that he was a little nuts. But everyone respected him. Seifer just demanded it. Not only in his physical actions, 'cause maaaan could that guy fight, but in the way that he carried himself too. You just wanted to respect him.

In fact, it had been almost a year since he had become the leader of the Disciplinary Committee and no one had dared to tell him that the committee didn't technically exist.

Seifer was arrogant and conceited.

And Hayner idolised the guy.

"Mind your own business, Seifer. This is between me and pipsqueak over here." The bully indicated to the quivering mass that was Hayner.

"Yeah?" replied Seifer, a small, smug smile tugging at his lips as he spoke. He was famous for that smile. It always made him look like he knew more than you and that he pitied you for not knowing as much, "well, that Lamer is my business. So if I were you, I would move away. Now."

There was a tense pause as the crowd's attention shifted from Seifer to the bully. The argument had somehow morphed into a twisted version of a staring contest. Finally eye contact was broken and Seifer smirked.

"Fine. But I'm not leaving 'cause I'm scared of you or anything."

"Sure." Seifer replied, the smirk on his lips growing as the bully retreated with his tail between his legs.

Hayner watched the bully leave before he turned to face Seifer with a wide smile adorning his features.

"Seifer!" Seifer raised an eyebrow in response, "thank you."

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"...what?"

"I won't be here to save your ass all the time." Seifer said, glaring at the now angry looking blonde kid in front of him.

"What?! I didn't even ask for your help!"

"So you're saying that I should have let him pound you into the ground. Chicken wuss?!"

Hayner winced. "No."

"Exactly."

Hayner clenched his fists and watched Seifer walk away. He hated being weak but there was nothing that he could do. Seifer was right, that bully was stronger that him and if that cocky idiot hadn't shown up, Hayner would have been sporting a few major bruises by now. He didn't want to be weak; he wanted to be strong so that he could protect his mother now that Dad was gone.

"Thanks Seifer." He whispered, slouching his shoulders and looking at his feet as he felt eyes prickling with tears that were threatening to fall.

"Hi." Hayner looked up and was met with the face of the blonde kid who he almost got beat up for. His eyes narrowed.

"What do you want?"

"It's just..." the kid faltered, looking uneasy now that Hayner looked so hostile, "I'm Roxas. I just wanted to say thank you. You're really awesome for sticking up for me like that."

Hayner crossed his arms, looking over the kid's shoulder to where Seifer and his gang were gathered. "Because of you, Seifer thinks I'm an idiot."

There was a pause as Hayner continued to look off into the distance menacingly and blondie stood there trying not to lose his nerve and walk away.

"I wanted to give you this!" he said, thrusting a lollipop into Hayner's face.

Hayner blinked. A cherry lollipop. The one from class.

He grinned, taking the lollipop. "Hi Roxas, I'm Hayner."

"Want to come and meet my friends, Hayner?"

As Hayner walked away with Roxas he didn't notice Seifer watching him, a ghost of a smile trailing over his lips as he did so.

"Why?" Fuu asked, nodding her head towards Hayner.

"Yeah," Rai elaborated, "why did you help him? He's just a stupid kid, y 'know?"

Seifer shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing as he watched Hayner talking to his friends. "I really don't know."

At that moment Hayner looked over and, realising that he had caught Seifer's gaze, grinned widely and waved. And, amazingly, Seifer grinned back.

* * *

**XxX**

_Cut me with your sweet cares, kill me with your tenderness_

_I don't care what you do, as long as I'm with you_

_15/17_

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Seifer wasn't always around Rai and Fuu. He liked his moments alone, moments where he could just shrug off the 'leader' persona that he had to adopt and just be Seifer for a little while. And these moments were occurring more frequently.

There'd always be excuses.

Sometimes Rai needed help in some subject or another and Fuu would go tutor him. Even though Seifer was getting better marks than her. Or they would both be grounded simultaneously. Seifer wasn't an idiot, and they both knew this. They were just waiting, and gathering up the courage, to tell him that they were finally dating.

He didn't mind. In fact, he was happy. But, as much as he tried to snuff it out, there was a tiny feeling of loneliness growing inside of him. Because the reality was that, as much as they would try to act like a normal group again after this, it wouldn't ever be the same again. And that was probably why he was laying on the Sandlot floor, feeling sorry for himself.

Reality's a bitch.

His only solace, as much as he hated to admit it, was Hayner. The chicken wuss had come up to him a few weeks ago and demanded that Seifer teach him how to defend himself. And, though Seifer would have said no in the past, this new found solitude was making him do strange things.

Also, and this was something else that he wouldn't admit anytime soon, he actually liked spending time with Hayner.

He started when he heard a sound and looked up in time to see Hayner climb onto the arena that he was laying on. He sat up when he saw Hayner's red eyes.

"Lamer?"

Hayner didn't make eye contact, just sat down next to Seifer, keeping his eyes glued to his hands as he chewed on his lower lip.

"Why is the arena here already? The Struggle Tournament doesn' start for another two months."

"Lamer."

Hayner sighed, running his hand through his unruly blonde hair before he finally met Seifer's gaze.

"Yes, Seifer?"

"What happened?"

"Nothin'."

"Like hell it's nothing. You look like a pussy with those red eyes. So I'm gonna ask you one more time and this time I expect an answer. What happened?"

"My mom's got a new boyfriend."

"Yeah, and so?"

"I don't like this one."

A pause.

"Does he make your mom happy?"

"I don't know. I mean... I wouldn't be able to tell. My mom works very hard at being unhappy."

"Well, she can't be too unhappy. She has you as a son."

"..."

"Er, what I mean is that you don't cause her a lot of trouble. You're a pretty good kid, y 'know?"

"You sound like Rai."

"Dammit lamer, take the compliment."

"Thanks Seifer."

"Whatever, chicken wuss."

But they were both smiling.

**XxX**

"_What the fuck Seifer?!"_

"_Your lamer friend is a fag."_

"_So what, you were trying to fucking beat the gay out of him?!" _

"_He was making out with his lamer boyfriend in the sandlot." _

"_And you wait until he's alone to beat him up? Super fucking manly of you." _

"_It's disgusting."_

"_And you're a fucking idiot. You're lucky that I have to go check on Roxas or I'd fucking kill you." _

"_I... I didn't hurt him that badly, did I?" _

"_Fuck off Seifer. We aren't friends."_

"_Hayner..."_

**XxX**

* * *

_You run just like a rabbit, and I chase you like a fool_

_But this fool I hate, I can't forsake, this fool's in love with you_

_18/20_

* * *

"Hey, Blondie, pass me a beer, would yah?"

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "We might be at the same party, Seifer, but that in no way makes us friends. So... Fuck off."

Seifer grinned, the buzz from the alcohol coursing through his veins mellowing his normal asshole-like persona.

But not by much.

"Tch tch tch. So hostile there, blondie." He said, grinning up at a furious Roxas.

Hayner winced, grabbing a beer from the cooler on the floor and handing it to Seifer who was lying on the floor on a bean bag.

"Guys, be civil please. We promised Olette that we would try to not kill each other.

"Whatever." Roxas said, making his way through the door that led outside, "the only way that I can be civil to that jerk is if I'm not in the same room as him. I'm going to join Pence and the others outside. Coming, Hayner?"

"I'll... be there in a bit."

Roxas raised an eyebrow in question as he looked at his best friend. There was a terse moment as the two blonde males looked at each other, in the end Roxas just shrugged and left. But the tenseness of his shoulders indicted to Hayner that this wasn't over. He would have to explain himself to Roxas later.

Hayner sighed, looking over at Seifer who was the only other person in the room. Everyone else was outside, enjoying the warm summer air and the freedom of being done with exams for the term. Seifer's signature beanie was sliding off of his platinum blonde hair and as Hayner tilted his head to the side, the irrational thought of 'hey, he actually looks really nice without his beanie.' darted through his mind.

Seifer grinned. "Like what you see there, chicken wuss?"

"Not on your life."

Hayner sighed again. Great, not only did he have to deal with Seifer, but he had to deal with a drunken Seifer.

"Why aren't you joining your friends outside?" Seifer asked, sitting up so that he could take a drink of his beer.

Hayner shrugged, looking down at Seifer with a sense of growing doom.

What was he still doing here?

They hadn't spoken in years and Hayner didn't understand why his brain had somehow come to the conclusion that it was okay to talk to him now.

For fuck's sake, Hayner wasn't even drunk.

"Answer me, lamer." Seifer said, alcohol apparently not affecting his 'tell me what's wrong before I beat you into a pulp' voice.

Hayner winced, but decided that telling Seifer wouldn't hurt. Seifer was too far gone to be able to recall any of this the next morning anyway.

"It's just that... Pence finally asked Olette out a few days ago. So they're still in that annoying honeymoon-everything-we-do-is-cute-to-us-but-nause ating-to-others phase. And Roxas and Axel kinda never left that phase. So sitting with both happy couples is more than I can handle."

"Axel and Roxas are still together?"

Hayner tensed.

"Yeah. You gonna go and beat them up for it?" Hayner said, his words edged as he glared at Seifer, his hands clenched into fists as he waited for the platinum blonde to answer.

This was a mistake. Seifer was a prick, time doesn't magically erase that.

Seifer, sensing Hayner's unease, put his hands up in a show of surrender. "Relax. You know, I apologized to Roxas for that."

"And that suddenly makes it okay?"

"No... Of course not. But I'm not that jerk anymore. Seriously, Hayner. I was stupid, and immature. But I'm not that guy anymore, I've changed."

"How is that you sound so serious when you're so obviously shit faced?" Hayner asked, yet another sigh escaping his lips as he ran his hands over his face. This really was a bad idea.

Hayner searched Seifer's face, trying to read just how truthful the blonde was being. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't pin point a shred of insincerity on the blonde's face.

"So what did Roxas say when you apologized to him?" Hayner asked, finally allowing himself to sit down next to his former enemy.

Seifer's eyes widened slightly in shock when he realised that Hayner wasn't leaving. "He punched me in the stomach and then walked away." He replied.

There was a pause before Hayner burst out in laughter, much to the bafflement of a confused Seifer.

"What's so funny, lamer?"

"Nothing. It's just such a Roxas-like thing to do." Hayner said between his attempts to regain his breath. His cheeks hurt from laughing and he tried to distract himself with that instead of thinking about the familiarity of the old nickname. Heck, this entire situation just felt too familiar.

It didn't take long before they were both rolling on the floor in laughter. Hayner because he could see the scene so clearly and the thought of Seifer in pain humoured him, and Seifer because the sound of Hayner's laugh made him want to laugh too.

Way too familiar.

"Okay, okay." Seifer said, wiping at his eyes as he tried to regain his breath. "I'm glad that the thought of me in pain still amuses you, lamer."

"I still hate that nickname."

"You do? Would you prefer something else?"

"Yeah."

"Hmmm... how about chickadee?"

Hayner cringed. "How about no?"

Seifer laughed and, even though Hayner knew it was probably just the alcohol, it was nice to see Seifer happy.

"So, you're gonna stay in here?" Seifer asked, downing the rest of his beer as he eyed Hayner.

Hayner shrugged. "It's better than being out there, I guess."

"well," Seifer said, getting up from his bean bag and making his way over to the table that housed all the alcohol and food, "if you're going to miss out on the party... we could at least get wasted to compensate." He completed this sentence with a flourish as he brought up a bottle of vodka from underneath the table.

"That was unnecessarily dramatic... and why was that bottle hidden?" Hayner asked, crossing his arms across his chest as he watched Seifer. The situation was getting weirder by the moment and he was upset with himself for being so okay with everything. Weren't these forgiveness things meant to be more dramatic than this? Something that composed of some begging on Seifer's part and some mercy on Hayner's part? Instead, they were acting as if they never really stopped being friends.

"I brought it. And I didn't want all these kids to waste it. Its good stuff." Seifer replied, searching through the fancy cabinets that housed all of the host's family's expensive dinner ware.

Hayner decided to ignore the fact that Seifer was so blatantly violating these people's privacy.

"Does it matter? Vodka tastes like death anyway."

"I'm guessing that you aren't a big drinker." Seifer said as he walked back to Hayner. He had two small glasses in his hands, and the bottle of vodka in the other. "I couldn't find shot glasses. So this will have to do."

Seifer handed Hayner a glass that was half filled with clear liquid before taking a seat.

"Don't taste it, just swallow."

"..."

"Don't you dare say 'that's what he said.'"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Hayner said with a grin before downing the contents of the glass.

And that was how it all started.

XxXx

"_I saw this thing on a show once." _

"_Yeah?" _

"_Where this guy... this guy in the show... the show that I saw once, like he only... he told the truth like all the time." _

"_Where's this going'?"_

"_I want to do that!" _

"_Now is a good time to start." _

"_Okay! Something to tell the truth about... I hate the fact that you call me 'chicken wuss' and 'lamer'. I have a name, yah know." _

"_You hate the nicknames? Big whoop, that's not a truth, that's general knowledge."_

"_..."_

"_Are you seriously pouting right now, Blondie? Come on. Tell me something I don't know. Or do I know everything about you, lamer?" _

"_You do not! You can't. We haven't been friends for almost... three years. Because you were a jackass. So yeah. You don't know everything about me."_

"_Prove it." _

"_What are we, five? I may be drunk right now because you poured vodka down my throat, but I'm not stupid. I'm not revealing my deepest secrets to you."_

"_Should I get more vodka into you then?" _

"_Oh fuck no. I can't even feel my tongue anymore. All I want to do is sleep on this amazingly comfortable bean bag." _

"_Then tell me something before you sleep, lamer. Tell me a secret." _

"_..."_

"_Once you're done yawning, that is." _

"_Fine."_

"_Fine?" _

"_I had the HUGEST crush on you. In fact, I think you look fucking hot right now. You should not wear your beanie more." _

"_...what?"_

"_Hmm? I can't hear you when you whisper. I'm too shitfaced." _

"_What did you say, lamer?" _

"_I can't hear you, too shit faced?" _

"_No... Before that." _

"_..." _

"_Lamer? Lamer!... Did you really just fall asleep or are you just being an ass?"_

"_..."_

"_...stupid kid."_

* * *

**XxXx**

_The bottom of the ocean is the safest place to be_

_I still swim towards the surface just to breathe your misery_

* * *

Hayner loved the beach.

But, unlike his friends who were so happily frolicking in the crystal blue waves, Hayner loved it just for the simple beauty of it. He sat on the soft beach sand, hugging his knees to his chest as he watched the horizon, the blue of the clear sky merging perfectly with the blue of the sea. And, if he closed his eyes and shut out the sounds of the world around him, and focused only on the sound of nature... it was one of the most comforting things that Hayner had ever experienced.

"Hayner!" Hayner opened his eyes to see Pence grinning at him from water, "you falling asleep there bud?"

"Nah," Hayner replied, looking over at his friends who were throwing a Frisbee around in the water, "just enjoying the moment."

"Yeah... we haven't done this in a while, have we?" Pence said, rubbing at the back of his neck as he looked around the beach.

Hayner nodded, laughing as he watched Roxas throw a screaming Olette into the water and then start running for his life when she reappeared, drenched and furious.

He supposed that he should be there with his friends, feeling the cold waves licking at his ankles while they ran around trying to catch a plastic disc. But he couldn't help feeling out of place again. And he felt pathetic for it.

And though he didn't know how to deal with it, he could ignore it for the time being. So Hayner got comfortable on the sand, letting the sun's rays warm his body as he closed his eyes and just let the world disappear for a while.

"All this sun... with a hangover... you a masochist or something?"

Hayner almost peed his pants.

"Seifer?!" he cried, looking up frantically to see said person standing over him with his arms crossed at his chest and a look of indifference on his face, "the fuck are you doing here?"

Seifer shrugged, making it seem as though magically appearing at the exact place that Hayner was an everyday occurrence. "Olette mentioned that you guys were coming here today."

"So... you stalked us?" Hayner asked, still looking up at the other blonde in slight shock.

"No, "Seifer replied easily, sitting down next to Hayner on the sand, "just you."

Hayner decided to ignore this confusing piece of information.

"You better not try to ruin this; we've been savin' up to go to the beach for ages. Roxas and I worked our asses off with those stupid jobs."

"Relax."

And so once again, even though it went against everything that his mind was screaming at him, Hayner sat next to Seifer on that beach as if they were still friends, watching as waves broke on the shore.

Hayner couldn't explain it, but for some reason that feeling of not belonging disappeared whenever Seifer was around him.

"The weirdest thing happened yesterday." Seifer said, breaking the momentary silence that had surrounded them. Hayner looked up from drawing random pictures in the sand, trying to mask his curiosity.

"did you stop being an ass?" he replied, his index finger busy drawing the head of the last member of the stick figure group of friends that he was creating in the sand.

"No. "Seifer said his voice even as he watched Hayner, "you told me that you had a crush on me."

Seifer watched as Hayner's entire body suddenly went on high alert, the stick figure family suddenly forgotten as his hands clasped down on fistfuls of sand. And before Seifer could even blink, Hayner was gone, sprinting off towards the restaurants on the far side of the beach.

"...what? Lamer, are you fucking kidding me?!" He screamed, pushing himself off of the ground so that he could take off running after the nutcase.

The impromptu game of tag didn't last long and Seifer finally cornered Hayner against the wall next to the ice cream shop.

"I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean it!" Hayner cried, clenching his eyes shut when Seifer grabbed his shirt collar and pushed him against the wall. Seifer's grip loosened at those words.

"You didn't mean it?"

"No." Hayner said, diverting his eyes from Seifer's face.

"You're lying." Seifer said with a smirk, inching his face closer to Hayner's own so that he had no choice but to make eye contact.

Hayner glared his jaw tensing as he watched the smirk on Seifer's lips grow due to his discomfort.

"Why don't you just beat me up and get it over with already?" he grit out, his clenched hands causing his nails to dig into the soft skin of his palm. He hated feeling weak, but he learnt how to fight from Seifer and, though he knew that he could probably put up a good fight, he knew that he couldn't against Seifer.

Seifer stared at him in confusion. "I haven't beat you up since we were kids and I'm not gonna start now."

"Well then what do you want from me? I'm sorry for having a crush on you, I get that that makes things fucking weird and – Seifer, your face is really close."

"Hey, Lamer." Seifer was so close that those words were practically whispered against Hayner's lips, "would you hate me if I did something really stupid right now?"

Hayner licked his lips, and found that his breathing had somehow become erratic. He didn't trust himself to speak so he chose to shake his head instead.

"Good."

And then Seifer's lips were on his own and Hayner almost wanted to scream. Every inch of his body wanted this, wanted it so badly that his body practically ached for Seifer. The feel of Seifer's lips against his own, the feel of Seifer's body against his own had his senses on hyper drive so that every little touch was amplified.

But what the fuck was going on?

Seifer suddenly pulled away, his widened eyes telling Hayner that he didn't know quite what was going on either.

"Fuck."

And then Seifer ran.

**XxXx**

"_Anyone here?"_

"_Just me."_

"_Oh, hey there Rox!" _

"_You haven't been at the Usual Spot for a few days."_

"_I've been... busy with stuff." _

"_Right."_

"_What's up, Roxy. You seem angrier than usual."_

"_What happened between you and Seifer?"_

"_Er... we stopped being friends?"_

"_No, I mean that day at the beach."_

"_Oh, ha ha. Nothing worth talking about."_

"_Bullshit. Axel said that Rai told him that – " _

"_Why don't you just fucking ask Axel about it then? I mean I'm surprised that you're even talking to me right now, don't I come second to your boyfriend?"_

"_..."_

"_Sorry."_

"_Don't be an ass, Hayner. Pushing your friends away won't help you deal with whatever you're going through. And you've been pushing us away for months. Now suddenly Seifer shows up and you're best friends with him?"_

"_I haven't been pushing you guys away. You've all just shut me out of your happy little lives."_

"_You know that's not true Hayner."_

"_Do I?" _

"_Try talking to us sometimes, Hayner. It might surprise you, but we actually do care about you."_

"_Yeah , sure. Whatever."_

* * *

**XxXx**

_Cut me with your sweet caress; kill me with your tenderness_

_19/21_

* * *

Hayner gasped when he felt hands pull at his t-shirt, exposing his abdomen to the chilly winter air. Short fingernails were raked across the visible skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps where they passed and Hayner's lungs felt like they were going to explode. Soon, lips replaced those fingers and Hayner arched his bare back away from the seat. He dragged his fingers through the hair of his assailant, his nails scraping gently against scalp as he tried to keep from crying out. He almost screamed in relief when those lips finally found their way to his own and covered them in a rough kiss that Hayner soon lost dominance to.

"Hah, "he panted out, when they finally broke apart, his breath visible as it swirled in the air between their faces, "are we really doing this in your car?"

"We've done it before." Seifer answered, his hands trailing to Hayner's jeans.

"I just thought that since, "Hayner inhaled sharply, "it's a special occasion, and we'd do something classier."

"Special?"

"Think of it as an anniversary of sorts."

The hands stopped.

"Hayner. Don't do that."

Hayner felt his face heat up in both embarrassment and anger.

"Do what? Try to give this situation some sort of meaning?"

He felt Seifer sit down next to him, heard him exhale in frustration. It was too dark for him to see his lover's face but Hayner could clearly see it in his mind. The expression that Seifer wore whenever Hayner attempted to talk about them. Whatever they were.

"No, stop trying to make this into something that its not."

Hayner ran a shaking hand through his hair, taking a deep breath to steady his voice so that he wouldn't sound weak to Seifer.

"What is this then, Seifer? What are we doing?" he asked, tears running down his cheeks on their own accord, making him feel even more pathetic.

"I... I don't know."

**XxXx**

"_I think that I want to start dating again."_

"_You say that after we've just had sex?" _

"_I'm being serious. What we have here doesn't mean anything, right? So it shouldn't be a problem if I wanted to start dating." _

"_If it's not a problem then why are you telling me?" _

"_Just felt like you should know."_

"_So... this is the end of this then?" _

"_Yeah... it's the end of this. Whatever it was."_

* * *

**XxXx**

_I get so lost and so confused,_

_I'm just so tired of bein' used_

* * *

Hayner had never been more uncomfortable in his life.

"I'm glad that you asked me out tonight, Hayner." Olette tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear, looking up at Hayner shyly. The flickering candlelight made her look beautiful and the soft music playing in the background provided the perfect romantic atmosphere.

So why did he feel like he was suffocating?

"I er... I guess that I always wanted to. But Pence really liked you and it's been a while since you two broke up so..."

Oh, God. What was he doing?

"I really like you, Hayner."

Why was she saying his name so much?

"And I'm having a lot of fun." She said, placing a delicate hand over his. He looked at her nails, perfectly manicured and... Girly.

"Yeah, me too." He answered weakly, a shaky smile plastered on his face.

He needed air.

"Sorry, I need to err, use the bathroom." He said, getting up and walking towards the exit.

"But that's not – "

"I know. Give me five minutes."

He pulled open the door and took a deep breath.

Finally, air.

Hayner pressed his back against the outside wall, burying his face in his hands as a groan of frustration left him.

"So you actually went on the date."

Hayner almost screamed, looking up at the person who had spoken, and clutching at his own chest, as if the action alone would calm his poor heart.

"Seifer? What the... how did you know I was here?"

Seifer shrugged.

"Very informative." Hayner muttered.

"So," Seifer said, choosing to ignore Hayner's sarcasm, "do you like her?"

"I wouldn't be on a date with her if I didn't." Hayner said, rolling his eyes.

"You wouldn't be standing outside if you did." Seifer retaliated.

Hayner shook his head, clenching his eyes as he tried to keep from screaming at the utter ridiculousness of the situation. When he opened his eyes again, Seifer was standing in front of him, his mask of indifference slipping a little as he looked Hayner in the eyes.

"What do you want from me Seifer?" Hayner said, his voice breaking as tears collected at the corner of his eyes.

Seifer shook his head, leaning in closer so that his erratic breaths ghosted over Hayner's trembling lips.

"I... don't know."

**XxXx**

"_So I guess that we're back to square one. Meaningless, secretive sex." _

"_Anything sounds bad when you say it in that voice." _

"_Shut up. I don't like you."_

"_You do, lamer. You wouldn't have come back otherwise."_

* * *

**XxXx**

_I wish you'd just make up your mind, my sweet unvalentine_

_20/22_

* * *

Seifer was dancing with a girl and Hayner hated her.

He didn't actually know who she was, any other time and she would have been just some faceless female at a party but today... today she was enemy.

Hayner knew that getting jealous was pointless, there was nothing that he could do about it and talking to Seifer about it later would just lead to a full blown argument.

But Hayner hated feeling weak.

"I'm tired of this shit." He said when Seifer joined him outside, away from the loud music and even louder people.

"What... this party?"

"No. Us."

Seifer groaned. "Hayner, are we really doing this again. Right now?"

"I'm tired of doing this. I'm tired of chasing you like a fool."

"What do you want from me, Hayner?"

"Am I a quick fuck or do you actually care about me?"

"For fuck's sake, Hayner. Of course I care about you."

"Then stop hiding."

"I can't do that, I have a reputation. I told you that!"

Hayner was ready to scream or throw something heavy and solid at Seifer's head.

"Oh please, they probably already know that you're gay! You wear a crop top for fuck's sake!"

"Fuck, keep your voice down!"

"Sei. Tell me that you need me. That you may even love me and I'll work with that. I'll stay if you can say those words."

The silence that followed was all the reassurance that Hayner needed.

"Right. Goodbye then, Seifer." He said, walking towards the door that led back into the party.

"Lamer... wait."

But Hayner just shook his head and continued walking.

He had mentally prepared himself for this moment, had played out the likely outcome of the scene continuously and, even though he had never allowed himself to hope, it still hurt when Seifer hadn't been willing to do anything to get him to stay. So he was going to do what any healthy, young male did when upset.

Drink himself silly.

As he was walking across the crowded room, trying to dodge the various groups of rowdy and intoxicated people, he felt a tug on his hand and turned around in annoyance. Only to be met with a very distraught-looking Seifer.

"What?" Hayner snapped, trying to pull his wrist out of Seifer's grip "wasn't my dramatic exit enough for you?"

"I know what I want."

"Yeah?" Hayner replied, his eyes narrowed in annoyance as he noticed all the people that were looking at them, "well, good for you but you're kinda causing a scene."

"Hayner. I know what I want." Seifer insisted, pulling the annoyed blonde closer to himself.

"What do you want, Seifer?"

"This."

And then, in that crowded room, with almost everyone watching, Seifer kissed him.

* * *

"**You're what keeps me believing the world's not gone dead.****  
****Strength in my bones put the words in my head.****  
****When they pour out to paper, it's all for you.****  
****'Cause that's what you do. That's what you do."**

**Happy Birthday, love.**


End file.
